Cats and Dogs Living Together...Mass Hysteria.

Jim: Imus, Imus, Imus. Forget Imus, people should unite against oversized umbrellas...

Chris: It is all a bit dizzying, but umbrellas? You think people want to read about umbrellas? I don’t see the issue...oh, oh, oh, I know...everything about Americans has to be big and bad and status boosting; is that your issue?

Jim: Yes, look at our super bowl halftimes, our cars, our TVs, our houses…always gaudy. We are a shallow people; we are about flash and ostentatiousness with little soul.

Chris: I don’t disagree. But I think it’s hardwired...it's only our intellects that enable us, some of us, to overcome that craving. What you’re talking about is human nature. Supersized everything and Ray Kroc is the devil.

Jim: Don't try to analyze this from a biological standpoint.

Chris: Not biological, psychological. I’m simply highlighting the age-old characteristic of public perception driving almost everything we do. But I don't think status is an American novelty, and I don’t think you can pin the tail on the American donkey alone. I’ll humor you and talk about America, but I know myself, I’m not very disciplined, I’m going to wander...and don't forget about the Brits, the only difference being their smaller cars and foreskins...

Jim: Let me go grab some water then, because I feel you’re about to suck all of the air out of this virtual room.

Chris: You know me so well...

Jim: It's not out of concern for me, it's our readers...

Chris: All three of them? This is good stuff, keep reading...

With the global marketplace and borderless media, there is much more transparency to titillate and tantalize. Fifty years ago you were competing with the people on your block...now, not only is bling more affordable, but you're competing with the global community!

And here I go...this is not new, it’s only more rampant...Hell, the bible, and the words attributed to Jesus in the good book, address is it. A formerly good genuflecting Catholic boy yourself, growing up I'm sure your madre sat you and your 15 brothers and sisters down at Easter to watch Charlton Heston overact his way through the ‘Ten Commandments’..."How do you like your messiah NOW?" the pharaoh taunted, twisting the knife of class warfare that separated the Egyptians from the Jews. Remember the golden idol? The debauchery? Society is a never-ending, continuous loop of status struggle, like the gibberish track embedded in the center groove of the "Sgt. Pepper" album after "A Day in the Life"...

Jim: “Well, since you brought my "madre" into this, the price is now 71 and a half” (Wall Street)...I don't understand how you moved into Jesus and the bible when all I'm talking about is that, as Americans, greed is a national pastime that has consumed our ambitions and makes us look hypocritical to the rest of the world. We have as good a case now against the War in Iraq as we did against the Vietnam War and where are the mass demonstrations as occurred in the 60's? I'll tell you where: out at Wal-Mart securing a 10 gallon vat of Mayonnaise or at Circuit City buying a 50" flat screen, the price for which could feed a small village in Bangladesh or arm an African warlord for a year.

Chris: Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. But you’re acting like greed is a modern development. The only thing that separates us from the rest of the world is MEANS. Plant a group of Pygmies in an environment where they're rich in money instead of sand, and slowly they will grow into a community of heathens just like us. As far back as the the bible man has demonstrated himself to be greedy and slothful by nature. Look at Dubai today...shit if they're not running circles around us.

Jim: You mentioned Easter. Easter, the time when Christians are celebrating the "proof" of Jesus' divinity, has become just another excuse to run out and shove processed cacao and high-fructose corn syrup down our kids’ throats. Christmas is even more of a hyper-commercialized clusterfuck, although I can at least rationalize that the gifts I give to people are in a genuine attempt to make them happy, as much as materialistic consumer goods made in China can, anyway...

And I’m asking you why? Poor upbringing? As a side note, Pygmies dwell in the jungles.

Chris: They’re nomads and they live on a continent full of sand. Forgive me amigo. I’m saying the answer is universal. Greed and means to feed that greed. There is your simple, straightforward answer. Whether it’s America today, Florence during the Renaissance, South Central LA during a riot, etc, etc. We are the richest people to have ever lived. There’s still plenty of suffering, but there’s more affluence and prosperity now than at any time in history. A financially unsavvy mass who think’s there’s skill in ‘Deal or No Deal’ is bound to squander it all.

This can’t last much longer. We are riding the wave of unsecured debt. Our economy has thrived on the debt of those who have leveraged their futures to keep up with the Joneses and the Imuses of the world. Debt is a very useful investment vehicle as long as it is properly invested...but consumer goods are not assets, so in essence, this is junk debt. Paging Ivan Boesky....

You want to know what big umbrellas really signify? Society as we know it is headed for a collapse of biblical proportions.

Jim: What do you mean biblical???

Chris: Old Testament, real wrath-of-God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.

Jim: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes... ??

Chris: The dead rising from the grave. Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together – MASS HYSTERIA.

Money only makes obvious our tragic human flaws…Robert Kiyosaki said that.

Jim: Did you get that off the back cover?

Chris: No, I read the first 100 pages of ‘Rich Dad/Poor Dad’.

Seriously, technology and the internet are transforming our society in many ways, not all of them good. Some of them, in fact, are downright cancerous to the productivity and prosperity of this nation. Ok, that might sound a bit melodramatic, but the transparency and access to information that so many people have heralded as the next great revolution carry with them deeply-rooted and disturbing consequences.

I read an article a while back from Caleb Carr. I think it was promoting his last novel, but whatever, I believe his words will prove prophetic. He said:

And lest anyone waste a free moment worrying about this dilemma, information technology bombards us so constantly with entertainment and marketing that quiet, objective consideration of our fate often becomes impossible. This leads to a society in which each member is increasingly concerned with the satisfaction of his or her own material appetites, and less and less concerned with the philosophical problems and principles that underlie the successful creation and maintenance of a civil society. The result? A downward spiral into a very uncivil state, one in which the public interest takes a distinct back seat to public diversion.

We have the internet breeding laziness amongst the proles. We have the internet cultivating a level of status consciousness that is unparalled in history. We have the internet making readily accessible information that can be consumed without understanding. We have the internet providing rampant MISinformation (and if anyone thinks this doesn't reach far beyond the internet, one only need to consider the haste with which the 2000 election or the recent mining accident were handled.) Worst of all, information, right or wrong, is not knowledge. This creates a lower-middle class that becomes lazier, less motivated, less educated, with a higher sense of entitlement.

What are the ultimate ramifications? I'm just a guy with a couple of bachelor degrees who wishes he could be Superman, what do I know...I haven't really gotten that far...but this isn't good for the ditch-diggers of the world nor the people who rely upon them.

Jim: If the 70's were the "Me" decade, and the 80's were the "yuppie" decade and the 90's were the "dot.com boom" decade, what are the 2000's? the "even more about me" decade or the "I got mine, you get yours" decade or the "f u decade?

Chris: Bling decade. It' all get rich quick, American idol style.

Jim: Good one.

Chris: The work ethic in this country is eroding; we are doomed. I say that with a straight face. It’s eroding faster than the glaciers and the ice caps and Al Gore’s hairline.

Jim: Time to go home…have fun in your Mercedes.

Chris: Ah, the Germans, God’s gift to man kind. Maybe you can follow me in your BMW.

Jim: Touche.

Chris: We might as well enjoy the spoils of our labor before we go and blow up the whole god damn thing.

Jim: You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! How the hell did we get from beefed up umbrellas to the fall of Rome?

Chris: This is a blog, there's no room for coherence.

Jim: How 'bout those Mets?

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